thecomexup

As if things are not already shitty enough. Today i'm driving down Military rd, and this lady from florida infront of me decides to completely slow up to look at the stores that are in the plaza - well I didn't notice til I was like 20ft away from her. I slammed on my brakes, my car slides, and proceeded to hit the back of her car. We pull over, I get out to check the damage on my car. Anddd i'm pissed. My bumper is cracked in numerous places. My grille..was gone. And my left headlight was cracked as well as my hood being about an inch off alignment. She pulls over to me - I go ask if she was okay. She was. We look at the damage on her car...she has a few gouges from my license plate and a bunch of scuff marks that I ended up rubbing out most of them. She was really nice though. We didn't get the cops involved. She admitted she probably shouldn't have slowed down the way she did.

This just sucks. My car has probably $1,000 worth of damage. It's still driveable though. I have a feeling i'm going to be rockin the car like this for awhile. I'm already in debt about $3,000. I don't have the money to fix it right now.


UGHHH. Officially hate my lifeeeee.

I met a new girl & she is beyond beautifullll :]

Wow. I think it's safe to say I haven't sat down and seriously took the time to write something in here. I don't know why I haven't been writing. Maybe I don't have any inspiration in my life. I need some. Shit.

Anyways - defintely had a good weekend.
Friday, DJ came over and we got fucked up. Watched the Sabre's game. They won. It was a really good game. After the game Nikki & Bry came over to drink some beers with us :] Nice to see herrr. She got her sunglasses back, and surprisingly didn't leave anything at my house for the first time ;] I swear she always leaves somethin here so she has to come back for it. ahaha. Just playinnn Nik! :] I slept sooo good friday night too. I was quite intoxicated.
Saturday was a good day. I made like $400 bucks. Then later, DJ and I got up, and we met some guys out at the new Chili's the opened up down the street - pretty much. The guys we met there were my old sales manager from Cecconi's and two of the guys on the sales team. Their good guys. It was good to see them and drink with them. The Chili's is really nice. I pulled in and there was seriously 100-150 cars in the parking lot (the parking lot was huuuge might I add). I was like whaaaat, is there really going to be 200 people inside this place? We walked in and there was a tonnn of people. But it was a big place, so we went and sat at the bar. Dawn actually bartends there. I had no idea. It was nice to see her. We haven't hung out or seen each other in awhile. She hooked us up with some free buffalo wings :] scoree.

I can't believe I drank both friday & saturday night. I rarelyyy drink. and get DRUNK at that. I'm not a big fan of alcohol. I don't like what it does to people. Completely changes them. And not always in a good way.


I'd type more but I just got a phone call, so I gotta peace out!
okay peaceee. no time to take a picture for tonight's post :[ sorrryyy.

haha. I've been pretty busy lately.

i've been hanging out with Nikki.
she's fun.


also on a binge.
that's fun also.
but not good.

at least I can function.




I really need to sit down one night and write in this thing.

idk.

I don't feel like writing in here lately.

things got out of control again.
i'm slippin.


just thought i'd say that.

bye.

I recorded this last night and was suppose to upload it.
but uhh - I got caught up in some stuff.
so i'm throwing it on here now.

 So it's 11:22. I just got home from Geno's. I haven't chilled with him since he got back from Philly. Good news is he's got a new spot to ink people...which means he'll be adding to my rib piece as soon as the weather breaks. So I don't have to wear a shirt. Because that would be a pain in the ass.

So I really think I enjoy writing in this journal every night. Although it is only the second night haha. It feels relaxing. I feel like Rev Run sittin' in his big gold and marble laced bathtub, with his blackberry, typing up some sort of words of wisdom for the day. Did I mention i'm high? Yeah. Anyways. Next topic...

TODAY WAS MATTY Z's BIRTHDAY!!
..I just wish he was here for it. I don't know wether to be happy about the situation, or to be sad. When I first start to think about it, it makes me happy. But as I continue to think about things, it just gets sad. We'd probably be partying right now. Or over the weekend. Sad shit. Oh well. One of them got it. Karma came back around for someone involved in this situation, just like I knew it would. And now it really must be a shitty situation for him. Hopefully that made him finally regret what happened that night. Seeing as he would always brag about it. 
I miss you Matt.

I wanted to talk about something else..but now i'm forgetting what it was - because after typing that last paragraph my mind is bombarded with thoughts and memories. Just keep typing...



I've been playing a lot of piano lately. Well. I don't know. 3 hours a day. Sometimes 4, if i'm really into what i'm learning. Piano is not easy. I see how people can be so into someone like Mozart, or Beethoven. They are genuis'. And speaking of genuis'. I came across this little kid today, his name is Justin Bieber (youtube him, really. it's something to see.) I watched all these youtube vids of him singing songs and playing instruments. Comes to find out, he's signed to Island Def Jam Music group and works with legendary producer's like Bryan Michael Cox. He's the same guy that does all the Making the Band songs. Danity Kane, Day 26, and Donny. He produces all their music. And he's working with this little 12 year old white boy from Canada. To see so much talent in someone so young is really an amazing thing to see. At least through my eyes. Check him out.

My back is hurtin sittin at this desk.
So i'm wrapping things up & going to hop in my bed!
PEACEE
.

 Okay. This is defintely my first "journal" entry since probably 5th grade. haha. I'm thinking this whole journal thing could be a good type of "therapy." And I use that term loosely. I feel like i've lost touch with a lot of people in the past year. And more importantly, a lot of friends. A few good ones at that. So I don't really have that many people that I can turn to when I need to talk about something. Or get something off my chest. But just writing things down really helps out. It at least seems to sooth whatever is bothering me. So, this is why i've now got a live journal. I'm going to try to write in it every night. But I know that won't happen - so let's shoot for 4 nights a week, at least. I know that no one will probably read this. I don't even care. It's more for myself than for people to come here and see whats going on in my life. Although, if you'd like to know what's goin on in my life - i'm sure this journal will give you a good look inside my life.

Life lately seems to be really...not good. "Shitty" is a good term. Probably the "shittiest" my life has been in a long time. It seems like the older you get (I'm scared to grow up), the more that problems arise and kick you in the chest. Sometimes they'll knock you down. Sometimes you may just stumble. But one way or another you always have to get back up. Or catch your balance at least. Right now, i'm looking for something to grab onto to catch my balance and pull myself back up before I hit the ground.

So if you're wondering why I think my life is so shitty right now...let me give you a quick  play-by-play.

I was dating this girl like 2 months back. We met at the bank. Hung out like a week later. She was really cool. I even let her sleep over (in my bed with me) the first night we hung out. That's more probably because we were both a little buzzed - and attracted to each other, but I WAS quite comfortable around her. But that's not the case. She's always had bad luck with guys, from the stories she would tell me. She would always tell me that I was a good guy and she'd hope I actually stuck around. We were never really "official" boyfriend/girlfriend status...but if you hadn't known that - you'd swear we were a couple. After like 3 months, things ended. We haven't talked since. I'm not going to go into why things ended. It's not relevant to this story. But I liked the girl, I was a little upset about things ending out of nowhere. Especially for the fact that she would always say she hoped i'd stick around (even to her friends). If you hang out with someone 5 days a week for 3 months all while kissing/snuggling/sleepovers you're eventually going to catch feelings them. So this is the start of life getting shitty. If the girl that i'm talking about is reading this, i'm sorry - I don't mean to make you feel like you started my downward spiral in life. It was just the first event in a sequence of really shitty events.
(I'm not even sure why this girl & I don't talk. I think we're both stubborn. I won't call her, and she won't call me. I wish we could be friends...)

Three days later, I get laid off from my job along with 10 other people. People who had been there 10 years. That really seemed to put me over the edge. I didn't have a lot of money saved. I have a handful of bills every month. phone, car payment, insurance payment, macbook payment, and past debt payments. So glad I didn't have my own place, otherwise I would have had to move home. So that was over a month ago and the unemployment people are retards and fuck things up - so I haven't even started getting unemployment checks from them yet. Being broke REALLY sucks. It's one of the worst feelings in the world. Amongst being jealous or heartbroken. 

So far, within 3 days, I had lost a girl I was really into, and the best job I EVER had. I think that would almost make any human being pretty mad about life haha.

Next thing to happen is my mother moving out for the second time. I'm NOT getting into this either. But i'll let it be known that I really do not respect my father. Enough said.


I want to go away to school. But I have no money. and i'm not taking out student loans because I don't want to be paying them off the rest of my life. I've already done 5 semesters at a community college. But after 2 years I realized I was wasting the only money I had on something I did not even want to be my career for the rest of my life. So I stopped going. I really want to go to school for recording arts. But everywhere is so expensive. I could choose from schools in Orlando, Chicago, NYC, and LA. I really wish I had the money to do this.

But before all this happened. Things really were great in my life. I had a good job and I had money all the time. I had a really cool chick that I could spend all my extra time with. AND my parents were getting along.


But the point of this entry was that i'm not happy with life right now.
and I don't know what's out there that is going to turn that around for me.
It really sucks. I hope something changes soon.
I need summer to get here. Quick!

If you sat there and read all this. You're pretty freaking amazing. :]

OH! and I think i'm going to take a pic of myself everytime I write in this thing. Just because. Maybe it'll make things a little more interesting.